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The current year represents a ten-year milestone since the word “disappearing” entered the mainstream. Initially, the notion that someone could instantly end communication with a partner without a word seemed like the height of rudeness. How naive we were. In the decade since, seeking a mate has only become more confounding – an oftentimes pointless exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly pigeonholed by online lingo.

Zoomers, a generation who matured during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread attack on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier terrain than their millennial predecessors could ever envision. And so their dating glossary has grown longer and more bizarre, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” straining the boundaries of your sanity.

What follows is a detailed breakdown to the phrases this generation is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the search of both. To channel one of the recent most popular memes, by the conclusion of this list you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – According to Zoomers, romance's ideal is showing up as your real, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A TikTok trend inspired by a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your date's reply is engaged or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while oozing enigma and independence. (She might still have that fringe.)

C

Support test – This means choosing someone who supports you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Choremance – A outing where two people bond while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do low-cost romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a crush or breakup, dumping all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a signifier of 1980s young urban professional excess, it refers to couples who choose against having children to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The opposite of acting aloof: utilizing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Signals

• Danger signals – Behavioral quirks indicating a potential partner is bad news. For instance calling their exes unstable, bad tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks validate your decision to pursue a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe niche, largely harmless idiosyncrasies. For instance being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (nothing creates closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group many young men listens to.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of silence.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The rare partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, deliberately postponing climax so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An stereotype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and usually everyday dealbreakers that immediately shut down any feelings of desire.

“He would if he cared" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an extremely romantic display.

J

Careers – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate partner: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in fields they perceive as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be limited since some gen Z desire fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {